"Halfway to Vegas"
(Scott Reynolds)
from the album "I Can Smoke"

She gave her pound of flesh to the handsome Dr Liposuck
Senior picture in the mirror through nip and tuck, and then
He saw her right away, fell in love
Then he got out his gold card, the needed shove

Next thing they know they're on the way to Vegas

He hit the jewelry store, a couple thousand for the rock
She said "wait until it's over, I'll touch your ...you know."
She looked down, "Diamonds fit me like a glove,
Anything so lovely--must be love."

She sees the country club halfway to Vegas
Yeah he sees forbidden love halfway to Vegas

He flipped the visor up, spread the sunshine all around
He could count her years in crows' feet, he flipped it ...down
"Eyes so green like the money in his fold,
but he's windy as the desert and twice as old!"

True love will conquer all halfway to Vegas
They're gonna have a ball once they hit Vegas

One headlight
Looking evil in his rearview mirror
Around midnight
"Must be Satan, how'd he find me here?
Something evil this way comes, here to watch me crash!"
So he let up on the gas, and let the Devil pass.

Turned up the radio, a romantic little tune
While his angel lay asleep beneath the desert moon
Broken-necked, with her head against the door
Even heaven ain't romantic when angels snore

He's gonna fall apart halfway to Vegas
Pulled off so he could smoke and fart halfway to Vegas

She rolled the window down 'cause she couldn't take the smell
Smelled like nervous armpit and Taco Bell, pretend
She's asleep just to take a peek at him
Put his finger to his nostril and shoved it in

She gotta go, no fuckin' way, Las Vegas
Maybe another man another day, Las Vegas
Yeah he turned the car around halfway to Vegas
Go away you evil desert town, won't play Las Vegas...